Face to Face

When I started painting “Face to Face”–my very first abstract painting– I prayed, “God, teach me how to paint how you want me to paint,” and had just enough crazy faith to believe He could tell me where to put the colors and guide my brush strokes and that maybe I wasn’t just smearing paint without reason though I had no vision for what it would become. For a long time I was afraid. I looked at this painting and saw something I’d never seen, never imagined, never even fathomed, how could it be my own hands that painted this image? I was afraid as my heart and God’s heart intertwined to make this piece that it’d only be the ugly parts of my heart everyone would see. I felt vulnerable, dirty, and afraid to be seen.
Then as I waited and looked a little longer, it was like looking into a mirror but finding I was fully held and embraced, completely known and loved, and for all the hurting and ugly parts God was washing and healing all of it. Now I look at this piece and I see the promise of a Good and Gracious God who I’ll see Face to Face someday. The only one who can complete us and fully satisfy.
I see the God who answers crazy childlike prayers like, “Father, teach me what you want to teach me and make what You want to make.” He’s personal and meets with us in the exact ways we need individually. He knows you and He loves you.

“For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12